Misc. & No one Knows When They Are Going to Die

New tree in front of Buddhist Center building
(Catalina Ironwood)

Rigo from the monthly parking garage across the street called and offered me a space. I had asked about it in January. I guess if I felt super handicapped I might consider it. But I told him no. I might look for a cheaper space somewhere close when my handicapped placard runs out in July.

I ate a spicy burrito by accident (I mean I forgot to say no hot salsa) and had no ill effects, or nothing worse than usual. Which is cool, because I like spicy food. In general I am not eating super healthy food anymore. As evidenced by the half-pint of Ben and Jerry's last night. I'm doing all right though, not too bad. It occurred to me that maybe I've been more tired lately because I am eating less protein. I used to have a protein shake in the morning which had 20 or 25 grams of protein. Going to start doing that again.

Tried to go to support group #2 - again, no one showed up, this time including the leader. It was at UCSF and the monthly lecture was going on too, so assuming it was canceled for that. Will try again Friday.

If you mention to a Buddhist that you don't know how long you are going to live, they may tell you that none of us knows. When I noticed I was getting irritated more often lately, this was one of the examples. In addition to feeling like a lack of kindness, it might be to do with confusion about the difference between the relative and ultimate plain. Ultimately, yes, we are all in the same boat. Relative speaking, some of us are already spending a lot of our time bailing water.

I would like to go away from mid-April to mid-May. Thinking Montana, England, or somewhere else. I'm also saving up questions for the medical oncologist (about my prospects) and social worker (about SSDI).

I led a meditation at sangha night, which I really really enjoyed, had a strong sense of coming home. I felt so happy to see people. I got all misty saluting the shrine.