A Terrible Clam & Misc.

I will be on retreat  until Tuesday, yay! Packing is kind of challenging since I am knackered and have half a brain.

Had a sort of rough night last night - couldn't sleep until about 4am and very very itchy. My body full of tension. However, today, no pain, no itching, felt pretty good. Condition subject to change.

Had fluffy cornmeal pancakes for breakfast. With SYRUP! That's what I call splashing out. Also found out you can't bring quorn sausages (if you don't know what they are, nevermind, you're better off) from England to the U.S. without risking a $10,000 fine. This is a great tragedy.

The docs say my tumor is shrinking. Misha felt my pulse today - which in Chinese medicine is 3 fingers on the edge of your wrist, not about blood pressure - and said my 'tumor pulse' was very different, I believe she said much weaker. I hadn't told her what the doctors said. So that's good. I hope, obviously I guess, that the tumor is gone after 3 months, and I don't have to do any more treatment. Cancer treatment at least at the point I'm getting to now doesn't leave you with much of a life.

Typical retreatants driving to a retreat

Dr. Patel clarified more about the immunity thing. Apparently chemo patients can get very susceptible to really bad infections, pneumonia, etc, just from catching a cold. He said my level is that I might be slightly more prone to catching someone's regular cold.

Did manage to meditate today which was great. I really love meditation, it's amazing that I have pretty much dropped the ball on it. I do a lot of mindfulness practice and reflection, but now feel the need for the formal stuff too, especially enjoying sitting on the floor again.

Oh yes I remembered what I was going to write about. My friend said when she witnessed a woman giving birth, that the woman commented that her vagina looked like a "terrible clam". I know how she felt.