Shaman

Alan Waugh

My friend Alan* is a shaman. On his website he describes what he does as "a practice of entering non ordinary states of reality to engage with the spirit helpers and the natural world to develop relationships, solve problems, perform healings and enhance balance." Alan has also been a volunteer at SF Zen Hospice for almost 20 years.

Please do not take what I write here too literally.

First we chatted in his living room. I did mention that the lingo around cancer is 'fighting for your life'. I said I did not want to fight for my life, that the cancer is part of my body and I do not want to fight my body. That I am working on finding out what the opposite of that is. He agreed very much with this.

Then we went into his healing room (I don't know what he calls it.) First thing he did was ask me to say to the shrine my intention for healing. I didn't find this so easy at first. I did realize that on some level, I do not expect to live that long. I said something like that I wanted to heal and to be able to appreciate all aspects of my life.

Then I was lying on a cot, and he did a little chanting and...again, hard to describe. I had all sorts of images going through my head, but they were so quick I can't remember them. My lower abdomen started to hurt, and my left hip was throbbing. The pain was mild, it was more like intense awareness of those areas, down to my toes. At some point he led me through a visualization, using the breath to go into the center of the pain and filling it with love and light. I spontaneously imagined a fire, and the smoke rising from it. It was wonderful. The sensations changed into something spacious and blissful.

Afterwards he said the ceremony lasted about 2 hours, which I found astonishing. He said part of the purpose of this disease is for me to show people how to handle death. He also said there was kind of a blockage in my throat, that I need to be very vocal in expressing my needs during this time. I wasn't quite sure what that meant but perhaps that will emerge later. He said he communicated with an owl, and that there are protectors or guardians around me.

We talked about death and I was telling him how impressed I am by him having found his vocation, and his commitment to helping people heal. By the end of the session we were both crying. He said he would be there for me on my journey. It was incredibly comforting.

Here's his website: http://www.alanwaugh.com.

*Note for Buddhists: Alan was around in the early days of the Sf Buddhist Center. We became mitras together in around 1994 - he has since taken another path.