Sisters & Perspectives

Montana, summer 2010, left to right:
Kathy (Singapore), Paulette (Laguna Beach), Laura (Fresno)

Had a nice conversation over skype with my three sisters - well, two of them - last night. Laura, who is the closest geographically, kept getting dropped (and there is no video.) I'm going to try to sort that out for next time, maybe switch to Google+.

Cull and Po are both into exploring life, exploring experience with honesty and humor. Both have been involved in Codependents Anonymous for a couple of years.

At some point Kathy asked me if my vagina is going to be like Auschwitz. It was very funny. I was thinking...In what sense? Not open to visitors? Or you can check in...but you can't check out? I forgot to ask.

In any case, from my subjective experience, what I have felt is an ache in the center of my my lower abdomen, which for a while anyway felt like it was radiating out to my left hip joint, and occasionally down to my left knee and my right side too. The pain, which was usually mild unless I was sitting on a hard chair, does seem much better now. Went to Samovar in Yerba Buena the other day with Nancy and didn't even notice that I was sitting on a wooden chair!

We talked a bit about working with thoughts, positive affirmations. I had had an interesting experience noticing thoughts that day (an area I am very interested in in general). I noticed that when I felt bad, I would think about how bad I feel, and it would make it seem worse. Then later I noticed that when I feel good, I think that...and there is something about how I was thinking of it that is not...helpful. Kathy I think suggested that maybe it was because how I was thinking about it was a barrier to the direct experience, and I think this is true. There most certainly is way to evaluate that is both necessary and useful. But then there is something that has, from my Buddhist perspective, a feeling of...stickiness. Which is as subtle as the difference between "This is how it is right now." and "This is how it is."

Nieces Paris and Lily, Montana 2010.

Laura is going to be at my house for a couple of weeks on Feb 3, and Po will come the weekend of Feb 9. Cull and her daughter Paris will be here from Singapore for their spring break at the end of March.

In general, I am doing very well so far - this week after chemo I felt better than I did last week after chemo - that was a shocker. I attribute my wellness to lots of 'complimentary medicine'. Which mostly means acupuncture twice a week (day before and after chemo), very healthy food, walking every day, naps, not having to work, no sugar or caffeine, quarts of hydrating coconut water, and later today, a massage that Tong got me. Yay! It can also change quickly, and nausea/motion sickness/gut wrenching never feel too far away...